Steakfest is the beam of sunlight reflected off the dewdrop on a rose petal on a cold brisk morning in early spring. It is the promise of life to begin anew. It is the sacred chain that links plants to animals and animals to our plates. When we meet at streakfest it is a celebration of nature and it calls us to remember how delicious nature can be.

These are great days we're living, bros. We are jolly green giants, walking the Earth with steak knives. These cows we wasted here today are the finest cut steaks we will ever know. After we rotate back to the world, we're gonna miss not having anything around that's worth eating. I wanted to see exotic Hoboken... the crown jewel of Northeast NJ. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them. I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed kill!

Let's say this Steak represents the normal amount of psychoconsumptive energy in the Hoboken area. Based on this Steakfest's reading, it would be a Steak thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds. And yet I know we could eat it.